Nostalgia: The Warmth and Pain of Yesterday

In this week’s episode of The Pussy Tangent Show, host Shonda Denise takes us on a journey through the powerful emotion of nostalgia, reflecting on childhood memories and how they shaped the women we are today. From the warmth of cherished girlhood moments to the insecurities and growing pains we experienced, our past plays a critical role in forming our identity. Nostalgia brings both warmth and pain, making us reflect on our first crushes, friendships, and the sense of belonging we often long for.

In this episode, Shonda Denise explores how nostalgia connects us to our girlhood, reminding us of our early experiences and how they influence our self-worth, relationships, and the way we navigate adulthood. We reflect on the ways these formative years still impact us today—both the good and the bad.

Your Voice Matters:

One of the central themes we discussed is the power of our voice. As young girls, some of us were encouraged to stand up for ourselves, while others were told to stay silent and not 'make a fuss.' That conditioning often follows us into adulthood, showing up in moments when we don’t speak up—whether it’s for a raise, in a relationship, or even when advocating for our health.

But the truth is, your voice matters. It’s the key to living an enriched life rather than one where you feel marginalized. By using your voice, you claim your space in the world, stand up for your worth, and live authentically.

The Power of Nostalgia: Revisiting Our Girlhood

Nostalgia is more than just a fleeting emotion; it’s a window into the experiences that shaped us. Whether it’s the innocence of a first crush or the lessons learned from childhood friendships, these moments remain vivid in our memories. As girls, we learned so much about ourselves during those formative years, and revisiting those memories through nostalgia helps us understand how far we’ve come.

Think back to your girlhood—those moments of uncertainty, the times you didn’t know if you fit in, or the joy you felt when you found your people. Maybe you remember the pressure to conform to certain beauty standards, or perhaps you stood out by embracing your unique style. Either way, these experiences, both big and small, laid the foundation for the woman you are today.

Growing Up and Navigating Insecurities

As we reflect on our girlhood, we can’t ignore the insecurities that came with it. For many of us, puberty and early teenage years were filled with awkwardness and uncertainty. Our body image, shaped by societal pressures, often made us feel inadequate. Whether it was not being one of the "cute girls" or feeling out of place among our peers, those moments of doubt stuck with us.

It’s important to recognize how these insecurities still affect us as women. The way we viewed ourselves as girls often informs how we carry ourselves as adults. Reflecting on these memories can be a healing process, allowing us to acknowledge our growth while letting go of outdated self-perceptions.

The Influence of Girlhood Friendships

One of the most powerful aspects of nostalgia is the memory of childhood friendships. Think about the bonds you shared with close friends, or maybe the sting of feeling excluded. These early friendships taught us about trust, loyalty, and sometimes betrayal. Whether you experienced supportive friendships or dealt with feelings of isolation, these relationships shaped the way you connect with others today.

Looking back on these friendships with nostalgia can remind us of both the warmth and the lessons learned. It’s an opportunity to reflect on how those early experiences prepared us for the challenges and joys of adult relationships.

Nostalgia and Family Traditions: Reclaiming What We Took for Granted

For many of us, the holidays were a time to gather with family and build memories. But if we’re honest, how often did we take that time for granted? As children, we sometimes dreaded the thought of crowded family gatherings, longing instead for quiet, anti-social holidays. Yet, when the opportunity to be with family was taken away, we realized just how precious those chaotic, loving environments were.

The pandemic heightened our nostalgia for these moments. Many of us found ourselves clinging to childhood memories of family traditions, even those we once dismissed. Now, more than ever, we value the laughter, the chaos, and the deep sense of connection that comes with being surrounded by loved ones during the holidays.

Reflecting on Girlhood Experiences That Shaped Us as Women

Our girlhood experiences were more than just moments in time—they were the building blocks of who we are today. From body image issues to learning how to speak up for ourselves, these early lessons still impact our adult lives. Whether it was the joy of a first crush, the awkwardness of puberty, or the strength we found in friendships, nostalgia reminds us of the complexity of growing up as a girl.

As women, we continue to carry these experiences with us. They shape how we approach relationships, how we view our own worth, and how we navigate the challenges of adulthood. By reflecting on these memories, we can find healing, growth, and a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Cultural Touchstones: Toys, Fashion, and Music That Defined the Decades

Now, before we get too lost in our feelings, let’s take a fun detour! Do you remember the toys that filled your room, the fashion trends you couldn’t live without, or the songs you had on repeat? Whether you were rocking neon leg warmers, collecting Tamagotchis, or blasting Nelly's "Hot in Herre," the cultural touchstones of each decade helped shape who we were. From Seinfeld marathons to trading Beanie Babies with friends, these moments were pure magic. So, let’s go back in time and revisit the things that brought us joy—and maybe a few laughs—growing up!

1980s:

The 80s were a time of big hair, bold fashion, unforgettable toys, and iconic pop culture moments. If you grew up during this decade, you might remember:

Toys and Games:

• Cabbage Patch Kids: These dolls caused a frenzy during the holidays, with kids begging for them and parents doing anything to get one.
• Rubik’s Cube: Whether you solved it or not, this puzzle was a must-have for any 80s kid.
• My Little Pony: Colorful ponies with brush-able manes were best friends to many.
• Nintendo Entertainment System (NES): Video games took off with this system, featuring classics like Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt.

Fashion Trends:

• Leg Warmers: Whether for actual exercise or just as a statement piece, leg warmers were everywhere.
• Neon Colors: Bright pinks, yellows, and greens lit up the wardrobes of many in the 80s.
• Acid-Wash Jeans: These distressed jeans were a staple in any 80s wardrobe.
• Oversized Blazers with Shoulder Pads: Power dressing at its finest, often worn with big hair and even bigger confidence.

Top Pop and Hip-Hop Hits:

• Michael Jackson – "Billie Jean" (1982)
• Madonna – "Like a Virgin" (1984)
• Whitney Houston – "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" (1987)
• Run-DMC – "Walk This Way" (1986)
• Prince – "When Doves Cry" (1984)

Movies:

• "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" (1982)
  A heartwarming tale of friendship between a young boy and an alien.
• "Back to the Future" (1985)
  A time-traveling adventure that became a cultural phenomenon.
• "The Breakfast Club" (1985)
  A coming-of-age story that resonated with teenagers everywhere.
• "Coming to America" (1988)
  Eddie Murphy stars in this comedy classic about an African prince looking for love in America.

TV Shows:

• "The Cosby Show" (1984-1992)
  A groundbreaking sitcom that portrayed the life of an affluent African American family.
• "A Different World" (1987-1993)
  A spin-off from The Cosby Show, focusing on the lives of students at a historically Black college.
• "Full House" (1987-1995)
  A family-friendly sitcom that gave us memorable characters like Uncle Jesse and DJ Tanner.

1990s:

The 90s were a colorful, creative, and tech-savvy time. If you came of age during this decade, you’ll definitely remember:

Toys and Games:

• Tamagotchi: Digital pets that needed constant feeding, cleaning, and attention.
• Beanie Babies: Collectible stuffed animals that sparked a worldwide craze.
• Game Boy: Nintendo’s handheld gaming system, with games like Tetris and Pokémon.
• Skip-It: A fun ankle toy where you could challenge yourself to keep it spinning.

Fashion Trends:

• Flannel Shirts: Grunge fashion, made famous by bands like Nirvana, took over in the 90s.
• Doc Martens: Chunky boots worn by rebels and trendsetters alike.
• Windbreakers: Bright, colorful, and lightweight jackets that were perfect for the unpredictable 90s weather.
• Scrunchies: These elastic hair accessories made a fashion comeback in recent years but were everywhere in the 90s.

Top Pop and Hip-Hop Hits:

• Britney Spears – "…Baby One More Time" (1998)
• Backstreet Boys – "I Want It That Way" (1999)
• Tupac – "California Love" (1995)
• Lauryn Hill – "Doo Wop (That Thing)" (1998)
• Spice Girls – "Wannabe" (1996)
• R. Kelly – "I Believe I Can Fly" (1996)

Movies:

• "Titanic" (1997)
  A love story set against the tragic sinking of the Titanic.
• "The Lion King" (1994)
  Disney's animated classic about the journey of a young lion prince.
• "Jurassic Park" (1993)
  A groundbreaking film that brought dinosaurs to life.
• "Boyz n the Hood" (1991)
  A powerful drama about the lives of three young men growing up in South Central Los Angeles.

TV Shows:

• "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" (1990-1996)
  Will Smith’s star-making role in this fish-out-of-water comedy.
• "Living Single" (1993-1998)
  A sitcom about the lives and friendships of six African American friends living in Brooklyn.
• "Martin" (1992-1997)
  A comedy about radio DJ Martin Payne, featuring Martin Lawrence in his iconic role.
• "Seinfeld" (1989-1998)
  A comedy about “nothing,” following the lives of four quirky New Yorkers.

2000s:

The 2000s were all about tech innovation, oversized fashion, and catchy tunes. If you were a teen during this time, you’ll recognize:

Toys and Games:

• Bratz Dolls: Fashion-forward dolls with bold looks and plenty of attitude.
• Beyblades: Spinning tops that kids would "battle" against each other.
• Razor Scooters: Zipping around on these scooters was a favorite pastime.
• Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading Cards: Trading and battling cards became a major playground phenomenon.

Fashion Trends:

• Low-Rise Jeans: Popularized by celebs, these jeans were often paired with crop tops.
• Juicy Couture Tracksuits: Velour luxury tracksuits that symbolized casual glam.
• Trucker Hats: Worn by celebrities and trendsetters, these hats made a major comeback in the early 2000s.
• Rhinestone Belts and Accessories: Sparkly, blinged-out accessories were everywhere.

Top Pop and Hip-Hop Hits:

• Beyoncé – "Crazy in Love" (2003)
• Eminem – "Lose Yourself" (2002)
• Rihanna – "Umbrella" (2007)
• 50 Cent – "In Da Club" (2003)
• Justin Timberlake – "SexyBack" (2006)
• R. Kelly – "Ignition (Remix)" (2003)
• Nelly – "Hot in Herre" (2002)
• Chris Brown – "Run It!" (2005)

Movies:

• "Mean Girls" (2004)
  A hilarious and quotable teen comedy about high school cliques.
• "Precious" (2009)
  A powerful drama based on the novel Push, highlighting a young girl's struggle with poverty, abuse, and trauma.
• "Dreamgirls" (2006)
  A musical drama about the rise of a girl group in the 1960s, starring Beyoncé, Jennifer Hudson, and Eddie Murphy.

TV Shows:

• "Girlfriends" (2000-2008)
  A beloved show about the lives and friendships of four African American women living in Los Angeles.
• "Everybody Hates Chris" (2005-2009)
  A comedic look at the childhood of comedian Chris Rock growing up in Brooklyn.
• "The O.C." (2003-2007)
  A teen drama set in California that became a pop culture phenomenon.
• "Gossip Girl" (2007-2012)
  A drama that explored the lives of privileged teens in New York City.

2010s:

The 2010s brought with them a mix of nostalgic revivals and new trends that shaped the modern pop culture landscape. Along with the toys and fashion, the music, movies, TV shows, and technology of this decade created timeless moments.

Toys and Games:

• Hoverboards: Self-balancing scooters that everyone wanted, even though they often caused tumbles.
• Fidget Spinners: A stress-relief toy that became a viral trend.
• Minecraft: The block-building game that captivated millions of players worldwide.
• LOL Surprise Dolls: Unboxing these collectible dolls became a major craze for kids.

Fashion Trends:

• Skinny Jeans: Tight-fitting jeans were a wardrobe staple for most of the decade.
• Athleisure: Yoga pants, leggings, and workout gear became everyday fashion choices.
• Bomber Jackets: These versatile jackets were a must-have in streetwear.
• High-Waisted Shorts and Jeans: This retro-inspired style made a major comeback in the 2010s.

Top Pop and Hip-Hop Hits:

• Adele – "Rolling in the Deep" (2010)
  A soulful anthem that propelled Adele to global stardom.
• Kendrick Lamar – "Swimming Pools (Drank)" (2012)

A track that explores themes of addiction and peer pressure, becoming one of the most critically acclaimed songs of the decade.

• Bruno Mars – "Uptown Funk" (2014)
  A funky, feel-good hit that dominated the charts and became one of the decade’s biggest songs.
• Taylor Swift – "Shake It Off" (2014)
  A carefree anthem that saw Taylor’s transition into pop music.
• The Weeknd – "Can’t Feel My Face" (2015)
  A smooth, infectious track that solidified The Weeknd’s presence in the mainstream.
• Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee – "Despacito" (feat. Justin Bieber Remix) (2017)
  This reggaeton hit became a global sensation and broke records worldwide.

Chris Brown – "New Flame" (feat. Usher & Rick Ross) (2014)

A smooth R&B track that became a hit with its soulful vibe and star-studded collaboration.

• Movies:
• "Hidden Figures" (2016)
  A powerful film about three African American women who worked as mathematicians at NASA and played crucial roles in the space race.
• "Black Panther" (2018)
  A groundbreaking superhero film that celebrated African culture and became a global phenomenon.
• "Frozen" (2013)
  Disney’s animated musical hit that took the world by storm with its catchy songs and strong female characters.
• "Get Out" (2017)
  A horror-thriller that cleverly tackled race relations and became a cultural milestone.

TV Shows:

• "Empire" (2015-2020)
  A drama that follows the lives of the Lyon family as they build a music empire, starring Taraji P. Henson and Terrence Howard.
• "Insecure" (2016-2021)
  A comedy-drama created by and starring Issa Rae, exploring the experiences of African American women navigating love, career, and friendship.
• "Stranger Things" (2016-present)
  A sci-fi thriller about a group of kids facing supernatural forces in their small town, full of 80s nostalgia.
• "Black-ish" (2014-present)
  A family sitcom that explores cultural identity, parenting, and the African American experience.

Technology:

• Smartphones: The rise of smartphones, especially the iPhone and Android devices, made the internet, apps, and social media available at our fingertips.
• Streaming Services: Platforms like Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+ revolutionized how we watched TV and movies, offering on-demand content and original programming.
• Social Media: Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat became integral to how we connected with friends, celebrities, and the world at large.
• Smart Speakers: Devices like Amazon’s Alexa and Google Home brought voice-activated technology into homes, changing how we interact with technology.

Creating Tomorrow’s Nostalgia Today

As we reflect on the memories that shaped our childhood, it’s important to remember that the culture we grew up in played a huge role in forming who we are. Whether it was the toys we played with, the fashion trends we followed, the music we obsessed over, or the movies and TV shows that inspired us, these cultural moments connected us with the world around us.

But nostalgia isn’t just about the past. We are constantly creating new memories, and one day, today’s experiences will be what we look back on. So, let’s continue to embrace our present while cherishing the memories of the past.

What were some of your favorite toys, fashion trends, songs, movies, or TV shows from your childhood? Let me know in the comments, and let’s share our nostalgic memories together!